Silcox Family

Mother ettiquette and Junior Jazz

2010-01-28T18:50:00.001-08:00

So Tate signed up to play Junior Jazz basketball on a city recreation team. I was thinking this would be a great introduction to basketball and seeing as we had such a good experience with baseball we thougt Tate would love the new experience. Tate enjoys signing up for soccer, but he's just as interested in the dandelions as the ball so I was pleasantly surprised that he was actually pretty good at basketball. It is really the only sport we watch as a family. Apparently watching the Tar Heels paid off a bit.

He had a basketball game today and apparently some teams take the title "Jr. Jazz" literally. I knew we were in trouble when the other team was there five minutes early warming up doing lay ups. I don't think half the kids on our team knew what a lay up was. The average opponent's height was 6 inches taller than our kids, and I could tell it was going to be ugly.

It was 28 to 0 before we ever scored. My blood started to boil as the parents on the other team kept on cheering and egging on their team to "steal the ball," "block him out," and other such defensive commands. The rule of the league for this age group is that teams can't guard in the back court so it was a wall right across the half court line. All six members of the opposing team stood guard to steal away the ball as soon as our players crossed the line. It wasn't till the third quarter when the score was 34-2 when I could take it no longer and stood up and started to yell from across the court, "Hey coach, how about you let them shoot?" They clearly made their statement. Out of sportsmanship and the fact that they are seven, I didn't think letting them shoot one time before the pirrahanas were let out was too much to expect. I only made it half way through before Jon grabbed my coat and I sat back down. It wasn't that he disagreed, but pointed out that the boys were happy and getting upset would only get them upset. My mother ettiquette obviously needs to improve a bit.

It said it all when it was time for team treats. Our kids went out to the lobby and had a capri sun and sliced apples and oranges. The other team got to pick out a treat sack that was piled in a huge basket and set out at center court for everyone to see. Each treat bag had been carefully packed with a fruit snack, bouncy ball, glow in the dark stick, sheet of stickers and assorted candy with an enormous bow around the top.

Are parents this stupid and competitive everywhere else in the world, or did we happen to get more than our fair share in Utah?

Santa Screw-ups

2010-01-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone. Just ready to head to bed, but thought I would share some of our funny screw ups this year. I really thought we were so prepared and had everything done early...Tate and Cale both asked for one small thing, so Santa had to be creative to fill in the gaps. In the last few days a second request was added to both their lists. Long story short and many details left unsaid, however the three main factors were a crazy "short day" that wasn't so short for Jon at the office and leaving on the 22nd and getting back at 6:00 on the 24 from the cabin, and that Target was closed at 9:30 on Christmas Eve lead to this beauty of a letter:

Dear Tate and Cale,

I have to admit that I was a little worried about you two this year. I checked my naughty and nice list and you both have been such good boys. I remember reading that you are so kind to your sister even though it is hard sometimes. I know you let her go just about everywhere with you. You both have done so well in school that I really wanted you to have a Merry Christmas. I got up to the cabin a little early—it was still dark, but I was in a rush. My last report said you would be home snug in your beds, but I could tell you had been at the cabin and I didn’t know if you would be coming back late. I should have known because there were no cookies and milk, but just in case I decided to leave one of your presents at the cabin because I couldn’t stand the thought of you not having a present on Christmas. I believe it was one of the toys on your list. I was so relieved to find you sound asleep just where I thought you would be. Now boys, I have to tell you that I am 99.99% accurate on Christmas. I wish it was 100%, but as you can imagine it is a bit tricky making all the deliveries even with magic. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell your friends about my cabin mix up. I know I can count on you! Now don’t feel bad. I’m giving you this extra present. I decided on this game because your mom liked it so much when she was little that I thought you would like it too!! Take care Tate and Cale. I am so glad you are such good boys. Work on obeying the first time. I have to work on that too sometimes. Just ask Mrs. Clause. Ho Ho Ho!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Love,

Santa Clause

Jon just informed me I also spelled "Clause" wrong. Good thing spelling isn't Tate's forte! Apparently it isn't mine either. Santa hides the kids stockings. Tess' stocking was a brown paper lunch sack with this inscription: "Tess, tell your mom to get you a stocking next year. Love, Santa" (without the Clause). To make things "fair" and since Tate got a new pair of snow boots we found a good shoe box and some plastic wrapping to wrap up Tate's old snow boots. I think they'll both be super pleased!!

I am just cracking myself up as I write. Maybe I'm just a little punchy. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and hope your Santa is a bit better put together!! To make things "fair" and since Tate got a new pair of snow boots we found a good shoe box and some plastic wrapping to wrap up Tate's old snow boots. I think they'll both be super pleased!!

Christmas Card

2010-01-28T18:08:00.000-08:00

Dearest family and friends,

We just passed Jon’s three year anniversary of when he was diagnosed with cancer and I am truly amazed and humbled at the journey we have taken. The road has been a difficult one strewn with many tears, but this time has also been a sweet growing time for our family. Jon has made a full and complete recovery. His recovery has been all that we hoped and prayed it would be. As I think about this miracle in our lives, and give thanks to God, I have to ask myself, so what does happily-ever-after look like?
I am reminded of a perfect moment this summer. We had just enjoyed a beautiful 4th of July evening with our friends, complete with a cook out, freeze tag and kids running with sparklers everywhere. After the sunset we loaded up the children and drove to the park to watch fireworks. We had a spot as close to the fireworks as we could get. As we lay on our backs and looked into the night sky we watched spectacular colors explode in the air above us. I was touching each member of my family in some way and I felt completely happy. I think in life we get a few perfect or nearly perfect moments, but “perfect” only lasts a few seconds.
I believe happily-ever-after is routine chaos at the dinner table. I remember one dinner not too long ago when all I wanted was to have a nice long, intimate conversation with Jon after a semi-crazy day at home with the kids. Getting the kids to be quiet for the blessing on the food seemed almost as big a miracle as Moses parting the Red Sea. Right after the “amen” Tess broke out singing the ABC’s and I beamed inside at how bright she was. Half-way through, Cale started singing his own song to the tune of ABC’s but with different words, the only purpose of which was to annoy his sister. Tess pointed her finger and said in her commanding Queen-of-the-World voice, “Stop it, Cale.” Her authority stopped there, but I seconded her motion and Cale’s singing subsided. If this same scenario had occurred between Tate and Cale three years ago, I’m sure I would have explained to the younger child that the older one had a right to sing too. I am much too tired for that now. Just as the singing came under control Tate decided to liven up the dinner ambience by passing gas with such force that the bench they were sitting on rumbled. Mayhem and giggling broke out all over again. Before Jon and I even had a chance to exchange more than two sentences of adult conversation, he had to run out to a meeting. As I put the kids to bed by myself I was exhausted, but I couldn’t help think about how nice it was to be doing those things by myself because Jon was healthy and able to go to a meeting and not that he was in the hospital or too sick to do so. That was happily-ever-after.
Happily-ever-after is despite a crazy economy being grateful that Jon has a job that he loves and that there is food on the table. What a thrill to see him put on his running shoes or hop on his mountain bike and do the things he loves to do, but couldn’t for a long time. Life is watching from afar Jon playing, wrestling and loving our children.
Happily-ever-after was crying my eyes out when the time came for Tate to go to school, and yet two weeks later when it was Cale’s turn to start kindergarten I couldn’t get him there fast enough. I feel no motherly guilt over this one as it has nothing to do with how much I love either of them. Tate is so kind and is ever the peace maker that when he was gone at school for two weeks before kindergarten started I was able to more fully realize what he adds to our family dynamic. In that amount of time Tess and Cale mastered pushing each others buttons’, and kindergarten was a welcome relief. Life was getting to watch Tate fall in love with baseball and see Jon coach and realize that our son isn’t the most skilled on the team, but he was the happiest kid out there thrilled to be playing and a part of his team.
Happily-ever-after is having your kindergartener think he is king of the elementary school. Cale thinks he is the biggest, smartest and most handsome boy in all of kindergarten. I am just fine with that as there will be plenty of time and opportunities for his self esteem to be smashed into the ground later. We joke that Cale is “Mr. Cool.” When I dropped him off at kindergarten on his first day of school there was no way he was going to give me a hug or kiss goodbye. He graced me with “knucks,” and I was thrilled. Cale is concerned about having his hair lay down just right while Tate puts on his hood and runs professing, “Mom, don’t touch it. I like it that way.” He and Einstein have something in common, I could be mistaken, but I think it’s their hair. Cale would much rather ride his bike two miles to school and up a big hill then be caught dead in a bike trailer with his sister. We used to call Cale “Little Buddy,” but he has since informed us that for obvious reasons his knick-name is inappropriate. He now responds to “Big Buddy.” Life was Cale getting on a really difficult pair of shoes by himself and proclaiming, “Mom, Jesus magic helped me do it.” I had to put my hand on my forehead and wonder where we went wrong!
Happily-ever-after is having a two year old who is as sweet and charming and cute as can be. Unfortunately she has an alter-ego that is equally disastrous. Tess brings spice and color to our lives, mostly in the form of pink. She is a little bundle of joy who has no idea she isn’t as big, smart or fast as her brothers. We most often find her tagging along with her brothers, who are so kind to her (most of the time), and make up the Silcox trio that goes from house to house playing with friends on our street. Life is dealing with the tantrums the best way I know how so later on I will be smothered with hugs, kisses and my favorite, “yove you mom.”
As I thought back on our year with the upmost gratitude and humility, I was reminded that happily-ever-after isn’t the perfect moments, but rather finding joy in the imperfect ones. There is certainly sadness, but there is also so much joy for which I lack words to express. I pray for peace on earth, but realize that the kind of peace I hope for is as impossible as a life of only perfect moments. This year I’ll be content in praying for peace in your hearts and hope in the future.

Merry Christmas and love to all!
Jon, Quinn, Tate, Cale and Tess Silcox

Christmas

2008-12-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

I think it should be a rule that every parent gets at least one perfect Christmas. Perfect is probably not the right word, maybe magical is a better one. I think we had that this year, but to fully appreciate how great this year was, I think it is helpful to go back a few years. If I am honest with myself the most magical Christmas I can think of (before this one) was when Tate was 2 1/2. He got a train table for Christmas and the look of pure joy and ecstasy on his face was just priceless. But as I think about it in my mind the reason why it is so vivid to me is because Jon captured it on video and has made a home movie with that clip in it. I'm sure the next Christmas was just as magical. It was a time of innocence for all of us. It was just our little family of four and there was no way to know cancer was just around the corner. Tate got a fire truck and Cale a garbage truck and Santa could not have picked out finer gifts. I will just have to wait a year or so before that Christmas can be as magical in my memory because it might take Jon that long to make another video! But Christmas two years ago was right after Jon's diagnosis and right before his transplant. It was certainly a sweet and special Christmas, but also a very heavy one. Jon's responses on Christmas morning went something like this..."Oh this is just what I wanted, sheets that are much better than hospital sheets, and I've always dreamed of a hypoallergenic pillow, and these pants are so wonderful I think they will prevent me from getting bed sores!" Last year was I think the worst Christmas we have ever had. There was a lot of stress in the air with Jon trying to buy his practice (leases are important if you want someone to lend you some money), he had undiagnosed pneumonia, he was drugged up on super doses of prednisone, and he started a new medication on Christmas day that he was extremely allergic to and was so sick. It only rubbed salt in the wound to realize that the retail cost of that medicine was $2500--that is $83/teaspoon/day (thank goodness for insurance). To make matters worse, Santa totally missed the boat. I'll never forget Tate trying to be so happy as he is slipping and falling trying to ride his bike in 3 inches of snow. So this year we were shooting for a little something different for Christmas. Jon's Dad and Uncle have been working building a cabin for the last almost 8 years and this is the first year that it is really livable. It is also the first time anyone has attempted to spend 3 days there in the winter time! We had to drive the snow cat in and I followed behind on a snowmobile. We left on the afternoon of the 23rd and got all settled that night. We woke up to a winter wonderland. After breakfast we got all suited up and went sledding till we couldn't walk up any more hills. When that happened, Jon hopped on the snowmobile and towed Tate and I in the toboggan sled all over. It was so fun. We had no phone service and no electricity unless the generator was on so we got to make snow flakes, play Sliders Sorry, make cookies for Santa and drink plenty of cocoa. It was a magical day. My favorite part of Christmas day was before we went downstairs to the Christmas tree. Santa comes in the middle of the night and changes the kids pajamas to Christmas pj's while they are sleeping. This was a new tradition I hadn't heard of till I married Jon. I was a bit skeptical of them waking up, but that hasn't been a problem and my kids are just thrilled about it! They wake up and have on new jammies and it is the beginning of a magical day. Back to my favorite part...We all slept upstairs and when everyone woke up they jumped in our bed, were thrilled about their jammies and that it meant Santa had come. It was a moment filled with childhood anticipation, "Merry Christmases", and "I love yous." That will have to be a part of our Christmas traditions every year. It was just a really sweet day with nothing to do except to play and sled from sun up to sun down. For a little while I thought that maybe you have to go away to a cabin with tons of snow for such a fulfilling Christmas. You can't attempt too hard at creating a perfect Christmas because it becomes too stressful and forced, it just has to happen. After everyone hears how great Christmas was at the cabin, it won't be our turn again for 6-7 years. But then I thought about what was so great about it and it was that it was simple, all done in advance and focused on each other. Just about a week ago we found "THE" house for us and I'm already excited to have Christmas there and start Christmas memories in our new home. I also think that because there was such deep sorrow in our lives for so long, we now have the capacity to feel that much more joy. My heart is overflowing! I am just awed at all of our many blessings, and to have found the right house for us after a year of looking and being patient, it all seems complete.

My favorite lines from the boys:
Cale: We are divvying up costumes and parts for acting out the Nativity and Cale says, "Can I be Yoda?" To give us the benefit of the doubt, one of the shepherd costumes was Cale's yoda costume. I can only hope he was referring to the costume and not the character!!

Tate: The water situation is a bit tricky and so if you are a boy you do outside what you can. So his grandma asked him if he was whizzing straight so he didn't pee on the generator. He replied "Yeah, unless I wag it."... Complete with actions. Oh boy.

Animal Similes

2008-11-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

The other day Tate brought home a special red back pack that had an extra writing assignment. On the bottom half of the page they were supposed to write ...My brother is a (insert animal) because ... and do a simile for each member of the family. On the top half of the page they are supposed to illustrate their family. I'm excited about this and can't wait to see what he comes up with. Each kid in his class has a turn taking the back pack home and so the book is a compilation of the all of the students in Tate's class. I am thumbing through and reading the other children's responses. For example there were quite a few that went like this, "My mom is like a butterfly because she is so pretty." They were all really sweet. Here is what Tate come's up with...

My sister is like a fly because she bugs me. My brother is like a skunk because he toots a lot. My Dad is like a lion because he roars. My mom is like a little squirrel because she likes to sleep a lot. I am like a gerbil because I like to play gerbils.

All in all very complimentary I would say. Brother tooting. Little sister bugging him. Jon roaring...I'm hoping his teacher is imagining games with Jon on the floor wrestling the boys, not coming home from work and yelling at everyone. Then there is the line about me and I have to ask myself why sleeping would be the first thing he would think of. Certainly my beauty would be overwhelming! Oh yes, I think every Friday night I tell the boys I will pay them fifty cents if they won't wake us up in the morning and will play with Tess when she gets up. It is the best fifty cents I spend the entire week! And when Tate wakes up early and I don't want to get up, I make him snuggle with me and talk to me. This sounds nice and cozy and it is, but it also postpones the inevitable of having to drag myself out of bed for at least 4 more minutes. I guess I can see where he is coming from, but I did have hopes of a beautiful butterfly simile!

Stiches and "There goes China!"

2008-11-23T21:00:00.000-08:00

Tess has a fascination with shoes. She loves to put other people's shoes on and generally it isn't a problem. However, one day she was putting on Cale's shoes and trying to go up the hardwood stairs when she tripped and hit the under part of her chin directly on the stair. It was bleeding profusely and my immediate thought was she needed stiches. Jon was at work, but thankfully he wasn't treating patients and could come home and better access the situation. He confirmed she would need stiches. Where did I first think to take her? Dave. Dave went to dental school with Jon, but his residency was in a different specialty. I have kind of wondered about Jon and Dave that it is crazy that people actually take them seriously. I look at them and just see them as Jon and Dave. It is beyond me that people actually call them doctor. Thinking about it kind of makes me snicker. I move to exhibit A to make my point...

So yes, when I think about them I think...trouble? China? And then again, where was the first place I thought to take Tess when she split open her chin. I think I kind of forget that they are very competent and highly trained in their specialities. Although I'll never be able to call either one of them doctor, I can now see why their patients do take them seriously!

PS Jon waited one day to long to take out Tess' three stiches. She pulled them out on her own during her nap. One day they were there. The other they were gone! She is one tough cookie!

Variation to "I am a Child of God"

2008-11-23T20:52:00.000-08:00

Every night we have a bedtime ritual. After books, brushing teeth etc, whoever is putting the boys to bed will sing with them "I am a Child of God." Tonight was no different except the new ending Cale created. He wasn't trying to be funny, it is just what came out. The ending will be more effective if you sing the words in your head if you know them...

I am a Child of God.

And he has sent me here.

Has given me an earthly home

with parents kind and dear.

Chorus

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

Help me find the way.

Oh what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh!

Jon and I died laughing. Yes, Jingle Bells is his favorite Christmas song, but he could not have made a better rhyme if he tried!!

Grandparent pros and cons

2008-11-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about the joys of living close to grandparents these days. With them a greater part of our lives, my control has dimished just a bit, but our lives have certainly been enriched. As with anything there are pros and cons. For example take the kid's primary program at chruch--An event not to be missed by grandparents. Pros: They get to come. Cons: They get to come. The boys have been working all year learning songs for their program. So we are in church and she is passing out lifesavers to the kids. Even though I am the nutrition nazi I'm not so much annoyed at the treats as the timing. They can't get treats at the beginning of church right before the sacrament the most important part of the meeting. They crunch them and eat them and my mom being the good Grandma she is gives them a second one. Now the sacrament is being passed and there is definitely no eating treats now. I tell them they have to put their lifesaver in their pocket and they can eat it later. Tess has also found a lifesaver on the ground and even though it is a huge choking hazard, I figure I'll take my chances rather than risk showing everyone Tess' freak out dance. So now we have finished the sacrament and it is time for the kids to go up on the stand. They can't have their lifesavers now because they have to sing and I don't know when exactly their speaking parts are. True to his charge, Cale obeyed and didn't eat his lifesaver during the program. However, I would be rich if I had a dollar for ever time I saw his lifesaver. He held it up to the light to look through it. He put it on his eye to see if he could hold it in place with no hands while blinking. He rubbed it all over his face more times than I care to remember. Then when he went up to say his line he memorized, he looked at it intently as if it were giving him courage to say his line and then proudly put it in his shirt pocket and went up to the podium. I must say we were pleased lifesaver and all. At least this time Cale didn't stand on the stage and scowl the entire time. He even opened his mouth a few times! The question I have to ask myself is who's mother is my children's grandma anyway? It is certainly not the mom I remember.

So yes, there are times when I get mildly annoyed. But who else in the world would you let watch your kids when one of them was thowing up from 4:30-6:30 the morning of. That night, Jon and I were going out with friends and had purchased concert tickets months ago. We would have been so sad to cancel at the last minute. My mom insisted we still go. The boys were planning on having a sleepover at Granny's, but I told them with Tess being sick, I might pick them up in the middle of the night. Instead of whining or crying all of a sudden I hear chanting in unison: "Sleep over, Sleep over, Sleep over!!!" What am I to say to that? That night super late I went and picked up Tess. I checked on the boys and woke up Tate in the process. He had no clue it was me and said "I love you Granny." Yeah, I think Grandparents are worth all the life savers in the world...even at church!

One more story...

2008-09-19T20:28:00.000-07:00

I do have more than one child, but Cale has had the funniest stories as of late. So the other day I'm talking and having a wonderful conversation with Jon's sister on the phone for half an hour. While I'm talking I'm looking for my cell phone which I assume Tess has hidden. The last time she had it she put it in Tate's back pack. And then what do I do...I call it to try to find it. Tate's teacher confiscated it and turned it off. I'm sure she really appreciated that and is wondering what we are thinking sending our first grader to school with a cell phone. But after four days of being lost--I found it in the furthest recesses of furniture with a small pile of toys. Thank you Tess! When I finished my conversation I realized that it had been way too long since I was interrupted and that the house was way too quiet even with Tess sleeping. Cale had gone over to the neighbors without asking or telling me where he was going. I went over and got him and our walk home was filled with concern about where he might have been. I carried him to his room and told him he needed to stay there and think a bit of how worried I might be if I couldn't find him and how he needs to remember to ask me when he wants to go next door. Shutting the door seems to add the final insult and now he is just wailing in his room. I have a remarkable ability to tune things out. Try to have a conversation with me while I'm reading a book and you'll understand. I am using some of these "skills" till I realize that he's not just crying he's screaming/sobbing something. I think he realizes that if he is just crying or whining about his plight he'll be in his room quite awhile. However, I realize that he's not whining at all but screaming at the very top of his lungs in between his sobs "I WUV YOU MOM!" even louder "I WUV YOU MOM!!" Now how on earth can I ignore that. I didn't realize a new tactic to get out of a punishment would be to tell me that they love me. But apparently, I'm a sucker and it seems to be pretty effective!

Captain Cale

2008-09-11T13:44:00.000-07:00

So, Cale has really had me laughing these days. He is such a funny chap and a lot of the time he doesn't even know it. This morning I am attempting to clean the house and I'm thinking a few tunes will really help me to get the job done. I'm thinking maybe some "Dancing Queen" by ABBA or maybe a little Jack Johnson. Really the possibilities are endless. As I start getting into my dancing/cleaning mode Cale is telling me I have to take turns. "You pick a song, then I pick a song." Cale is our most musical kid--except when it comes to singing in church with the primary. He walks up the the front of the chapel with all the kids, gets right in the front, folds his arms and scowls the entire time. Never once opens his mouth or smiles. Anyway, he does have some musical talent. I'm hoping to harness that into a musical instrument (singing certainly doesn't seem to be his thing) and not just that he is amazing at an ipod. But, he has an uncanny way of remembering things with songs. He had only seen Star Wars once, but when Jon was whistling part of the sound track Cale said "That's when Luke leaves his home." He was right. So anyway, I ask him what song he wants. I'm thinking he'll want Star Wars, or Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, or This little light of mine...something along those lines. He says "Fire Horsey." I could not think...fire horsey? Sure enough--Jungle Love by Steve Miller Band. Imagine the cover of the album and you will agree, Fire horsey is a good descriptor.

Three quick one liners...

Cale got in a little scuff with a neighbor boy and it ended by the neighbor telling Cale he didn't want to be friends anymore. He came in crying and heart broken, but after we talked about it a little he got up, grabbed two light sabers and started wielding them in all directions and said "That's ok Mom. When he dos that I will show him my powerful tricks!"

The other morning I found Cale distraught on the floor crying. I asked him what was wrong. He replied, "I can't find any short-sleeve pants!" (shorts)

This morning he was walking outside and I asked him "How come you are so handsome and sweet?" He turned around, but his hands on his hips, broke out a huge smile and said "Jesus made me to."

Dance Dance Revolution

2008-09-11T12:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I haven't quite made it to the 21st century. My capabilities in anything technical always seem to be lagging behind and I have a very special talent of breaking things when all I did was press a button. If you think I'm joking all you have to do is ask Jon. I do think when printers or computers are being sarcastic it would just feel great to throw them outside and take a hammer to them. But this post is not at all about my computer difficulties--rather my lack of skills in the video game department. I have not been sold on the virtues of video games so we don't have anything at the house, and for fun before Tate went back on track I thought they would love a trip to Nickelcade (a cheap arcade in Utah). Before going to Nickelcade I had one introduction with Dance Dance Revolution. I saw it at my cousins house and watched a few people play it before I did for about two minutes and then we had to go. It was just enough to get the concept of the game.

So back to Nickelcade. I am taking the boys because I thought THEY would love it. As we are perusing the aisles seeing what video games they have my eye catches the dance dance revolution machine. It is a Wednesday morning and there is no one there but us. I must say that I did do my job of helping my kids, but it all came down to DDR! Now before I even stepped onto the machine, I thought I would be pretty good. After all, I do consider myself a pretty coordinated person and I danced a lot growing up. In front of me I could see all my fame and glory as I rocked the dance floor. I had a clue that this was not quite my generation thing when I noticed a sign attached to the game that said there would be repercussions for playing songs with offensive lyrics and language. I thought...isn't that nice for kids and things. Then I looked at the play list. I started to feel a little old and out of things. I didn't recognize a single song!! How was I to know if I was going to pick the most offensive song on the list! I chose the song "Psalm Pilot" only because there are psalms in the bible. I start on the novice level. Not a problem. DDR here I come! Next--the easy level. In my mind I thought "I'm going to master this thing in no time." It starts and all of a sudden there are arrows flying in every direction. Some at the same the same time and even three all at once. I am giving it 100% of my concentration and effort. I have arms flaying this direction--then that. My feet are trying so hard to get to where my eyes see that they should be. I get behind and then I frantically try to catch up somewhere. I'm jumping sideways then forward. I just about fall to the ground trying to step on all the right arrows. Finally it is over. I think...maybe I just need to do it again. I'm sure I'll catch on quickly. I sign myself up for more punishment and was just about as pitiful as the first time around. I am starting to sweat. Surely I can't be this bad. Where did all of my coordination go? By this time my children are calling and I can ignore them no longer. I'm at the ticket stand helping Tate and Cale choose what toys they want for 25 tickets. Of course they are choosing the toys that require 135 tickets. We finally made all our choices and they seemed thrilled with their chinese yo-yos and spider rings when a teeny-bopper comes in with a special set of shoes. I watch her and she goes straight to the DDR machine. I have a feeling as she is lacing up her shoes that my confidence in my coordination is going to take another hit. She puts in her 20 cents and chooses all of her songs/options etc. in 2 seconds and chooses the hardest level. I thought "there's no way." I didn't know arrows could move that fast--let alone feet. She was every direction all at the same time. How can anyone even process information that fast. She absolutely smoked it! It isn't like I'm my grandma. I am only 32--is that so old?? So, the bottom line is I loved it. My only tip is go on a Wednesday morning when you know no one will be there and see if you can rock the dance floor and make all your dreams come true!!

Birds and the bees with a six year old

2008-08-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

So the other day we were in the car talking about our newest and cutest baby cousin Atticus when Tate asked "Mom, why aren't we going to have any more brothers and sisters." I replied "Remember that medicine Dad took to kill his bone marrow so he could get new marrow and make his blood work good again. Well, that medicine made it so we can't have anymore kids. " I wish I could capture the look of profound awe and self discovery when in wonder he said "So you mean Dad has something to do with it?" He was so proud of his Dad! I said "you know how plants start out as seeds. Well, basically Dad has the seeds." THANKFULLY, I SHUT UP!!! And thankfully he didn't ask any more questions!

Cancer--a family affair

2008-08-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

To say our families have been amazing through our whole experience is an understatement. They have done everything from provide life-saving stem cells to the latest bit of service--delivering medication. This weekend we were up in Midway enjoying time with my family. In Jon's haste to rush home from work and meet us in the mountains he threw in his almost empty bottle of his most important medication rather than the bottle that was just filled. As soon as we realized the mistake we exhausted all our resources to fill his prescription at a local pharmacy. The only option was to make a 2 1/2 hour round trip drive back home. That was our only option until Jon remembered that our brother-in-law was biking the Tour de Utah and his race went right down Main Street of Midway. So a new plan was made. Justin would put Jon's medicine in a ziplock in his jersey and at the appointed spot he would throw Jon his medicine and continue on his race. I am continually amazed at the parts that everyone plays to make sure we have have everything we need and that Jon's transplant is successful. How many times can one say thank you?

As I mentioned earlier, we didn't start a blog when Jon was diagnosed because it made him feel like the cancer patient, but I do feel bad that the only way we documented it was random emails. So I have added a little cancer chapter (to the left, labeled "Cancer Updates") mostly for me so I can remember what life was like--the really wonderful and the really hard.

May the force be with you

2008-08-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

The sole purpose of this post is to brag, but once you see where I was and how far I have come you will recognize the need to have some bragging rights. So, I always try to make my kids a birthday cake. I feel like I should save myself the embarassment, but I'll throw in this birthday cake story too. There are no pictures of Tess at her first birthday with frosting smeared all over her face. Why you ask? Well, she wasn't too thrilled with the cake I made her. Banana bread cake with cauliflower puree. Jon will never let me live it down. But back to the real birthday cake story. As you can see from exhibit A this was Tate's birthday cake when he was 3. He was so thrilled with it. He called it his "pancake birthcake." The real story is I forgot to add the oil so it never rose. I added some icecream in the middle layer to make it a bit taller and hopefully taste a little better. A little unsucessful on both accounts, but all that mattered was that he was thrilled. Hooray for a happy 3 year old.
Speed up three years to the "Light Saber Cake." After looking on line at star wars cakes and seeing amazing Darth Vader fondant cakes I realized I had to figure out something that was a bit more manageable. Nothing like a good jelly roll cake. So with exhibit B you have brag #1.

As for brag #2--Jon and I are excellent pinata makers. Of all the talents to posess, I'm sure good pinata maker should be somewhere on the top. Last year Tate loved his baseball pinata. This year--the Death Star (Darth Vader's huge ship) was a huge hit. I wish I could take more credit, but Jon was the mastermind behind it. Happy Birthday Tate!

Three Sweet Funny Kids

2008-08-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

So I thought I should give a little update as to what the kids are up to and what their little personalities are like.

Tate started first grade last week. I felt like I was giving up a lot in terms of climate moving from NC to Utah and I told Jon there was one thing I WOULD NOT DO...year round school. Seeing as Tate started last week you can tell how well I stuck to my guns! :) I actually think it will be great. Tate has 1 1/2 weeks left and then he gets three weeks off. He gets all these brakes in the year and as long as we move before June (which we better or someone is in serious trouble!!) he will still have all of next summer off. So basically our hope is to milk the system for all it is worth and have our child in school the least amount as possible. Probably not the best stragegy, but for first grade I think it will be great!

Tate was born with confidence and a happy spirit. He is the forever optimist. It didn't even cross his mind that he should be nervous because he was starting a new school and didn't know a single person in his class. He hopped on the bus with his good buddy and rode off. He came home with the same spring in his step as when he left! He is really having success in reading and his favorite part of school is the monkey bars. I figured out that if I want to know what is going on at school I don't ask "What did you do in school today?" If I really want to know what is going on I ask "What did you play at recess." Now that has some interesting asnwers! His passion these days is Star Wars. He loves everything about Star Wars. His light saber is by far his favorite toy and I'm impressed that the duels he and Cale have don't usually end in tears. The funny thing about Tate is since we hardly ever watch TV, he is more sensitive to TV than any kid I've ever seen. For example most Veggie Tales are too intense and when any scary part comes where the good guys would be in danger he gets worried and asks us to turn it off or change to a different show. So Tate-safe shows include "Tom and Jerry," "Yogi Bear," episodes of "The Muppets," and amazingly enough "Star Wars." Who would have guessed. As long as you talk him through anything that could be scary he is just fine. I'm amazed at how slow a 1980's film is! It is the ultimate in the good guys always win. It suits him well. A classic memory I hope never to forget: 2 little boys marching bare naked across the driveway singing the Star Wars theme in "dunt, dunt, dunts." They were retrieving their swim suits from the car and apparently that was the best way to do it!

Cale is funny, sweet, cooridinated as I'll get out, and a bit more complicated. He really gets humor--what is funny and how to be funny. We are constantly laughing. I mentioned earlier that he adds "mo" to the beginning of words. This is not an attempt to be funny. I should probably start correcting him, and if he does it at 12 you must remind me it is no longer cute, but at four...I love it. My top "mo" words. 1. Mo-saster (disaster) This is almost always used as an adjective to describe his sister. 2. Mo-sgusting (disgusting) frequently used for a plethora of things that they make, find, do, and especially bodily sounds. 3. Mo-3PO (C3p0 from Star Wars.)
Cale had a bad experience last year from preschool, so we really talked it up this year. Friday was his orientation and it is a good thing they had cool pinwheels. I told him it was a rule I couldn't get it for him, he had to go into the room and get it. He warmed up and had a great first day today! Hooray!!

Tess, how to describe her: so cute, snuggly--she'll lay her head on your shoulder and melt into you, loving and FIESTY! At this age the boys were into places to go and things to see. Tess is more into interacting with you. My favorite thing, and I think hers to is after she wakes up in the moringing or from her nap I pick her up and set her on my lap in the lazy boy. We make faces at each other and she copies mine or does a few new ones of her own. She loves to give the meanest glare and then brakes into a huge smile. She loves to sing songs, play peek-a-boo, find her belly button and be quizzed on her body parts. She also understands SO much of what is going on. It really amazes me.
I remember the first time I saw my sister's little girl throw a tantrum. She is the same age as Tate. If I remember right I think I just stood there with my mouth open and thought "What is that?" Tate NEVER threw a tantrum. I don't think I'm exaggerating by saying never either. We had Cale so we could realize that tantrums have nothing whatsoever to do with how well (or poorly for that matter) you parent. We had Tess to be amazed at how young they could start! We just realized that she has the talent of crying hard enough that she can pass out for a second or two. That is always nice. She is actually so pleasant and fun to be around a good 90% of the time. I think she'll give us a run for our money though as a teenager. Watch out!!

As of 8/6/2008 that is pretty much the Silcox kids in a nutshell!

Island Park

2008-07-31T13:53:00.000-07:00

We went on vacation to Island Park Idaho for an entire week and it was just bliss! It is the perfect vacation spot for the ages of our kids. It was so nice that all that was on the agenda was to arrive on Sunday and leave the next. Our days pretty much went like this...

Wake up at 8:00 or later and fix breakfast. Go for a bike ride and get good and hot. Jump in the boat and take off water skiing and tubing. Come back and have lunch. Take a nap, read a book, go on a walk, go for a spin in the paddle boat. Just enjoy the scenery! Eat dinner. Jump back in the boat when the water gets glassy and ski till your legs feel like jello. Come back to the cabin, eat dessert, put kids to bed and enjoy each other and being together without any distractions. It was perfect!

I'm amazed at what our family can do these days. Cale excels in anything that requires gross motor skills and riding a bike is no different. Months before he turned 4 he was able to ride his bike without training wheels and now he is a pro. He kept up with Jon, Tate and I and was able to bike trails with tree roots, rocks and ruts with no problem. I guess what I am most amazed at is that we could all go (Tess in a seat on the back of Jon's bike) and everyone was happy the whole time. That is the true miracle.

Water skiing was great. The water was always good and to feel like you are skiing in the middle of a painting with pine trees, amazing sunsets and beautiful mountains was awesome. The first night we were there we turned the corner up the river and right before us was a huge moose coming down to take a drink. We named him Manny. Another time we saw a mama moose and her tiny baby. It was so neat. Most of my friends know that I love water skiing, but I thought I'd post a picture to prove that I can actually do it. Not bad skiing for 32 and a mother of three if I do say so myself! We also got a tube so we could pull the kids in something fun behind the boat. Tate was a bit nervous at first so we convinced Cale that it would be great fun and he happily jumped on. Wouldn't you know we had him sitting too far forward and with Jon going so slow we submarined Cale. Not for long, but just enough to worry him. He went on it a few more times, but Tate was the one who was just thrilled about it. A turn could never be too long and we cound never go enough times in a day for him! Watching him go on the tube was watching someone experience true joy. His smile could not have been bigger.

Some of my other favorite things about our trip--
Tate "Can I hug you Mom? I haven't gotten to hug you so much today."
Cale has always been funny with the things he chooses to say. He will often add "mo" to the beginning of a word. "Mo-naked" made it's appearance for the first time.
Tess must have loved the vibration of the boat. She would come to the drivers feet and lay face down on the floor of the boat. It was quite funny to see.
Jon--that we could actually go on this vacation. Last year lake water was out of the question.
Me--the sound of waves against rocks and my childrens laughter waking me up from a nap and going right back to sleep.

First Timers

2008-07-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

So right after Jon was diagnosed with cancer 20 months ago, we had a marvelous friend that offered to start a blog for us. Jon said it made him feel like a cancer patient, so we opted not. There are some decisions you seriously regret in life, and now I find myself struggling to make a "non-cancer" blog. We should have taken our friend up on it. It certainly would have been on the benefits of cancer list.

Our web address is jonandquinn.blogspot.com. (It's not in high demand.) But it seems as if we have always just been Jon and Quinn and all smushed together like it is one word seems appropriate. Canadian geese choose their mate early on in life and then live a life of monagamy for ever after. I could have just as easily been a goose. Since we were seventeen, we have simply been Jon and Quinn. We have been on many an adventure since then...graduating from highschool, Jon serving a mission for our church, getting married, both of us getting degrees from BYU, moving to North Carolina for some of the greatest years of our lives, adding one, two then three additions to our lives, Jon graduating from dental school, Jon being diagnosed with myleodysplastic syndrome, a bone marrow transplant, Jon graduating from his orthodontic residency, moving to Utah and buying a practice. In a nutshell that is where life currently finds us--amid the wasatch mountains, happy with our three children, Tate, Cale and Tess, Jon loving his job--the proud owner of Silcox Orthodontics in Cottonwood Heights, and very grateful for a new perspective on life and the chance to live it!

Nov. 2006 right after diagnosis

Just A Little Update

2008-02-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

Well, we’ve been in Utah for almost 2 months now and so we thought we should send out a little update on how we have faired since our move. All in all we really like it here. I get especially nostalgic about Chapel Hill when I hear it reached 76 degrees on the day of a huge snow storm here. There is much we miss about NC, but Utah has a few perks we have discovered as well, and we are getting settled and reacquainted with the great state that we left almost 8 years ago.

Jon successfully bought an orthodontic practice in Salt Lake City that he absolutely loves. He loves to go to work everyday and is driven by all of the many challenges that come with being a new business owner. He is finding out that there is a lot more to running a successful orthodontic practice than just being good at straightening teeth—and that makes it even more exciting. As far as his health goes, we think we are on the up and up now. After two days at work in his new practice, Jon had a nasty spell of pneumonia. He can’t seem to do anything just average or low key. So it was with pneumonia—he did it with gusto… he not only got bacterial pneumonia but RSV pneumonia as well. He was in the hospital for eight days, six of them being in isolation and the kids and I couldn’t see him. That was the pits. Sometimes it is hard not to be a bit impatient at wanting to be over this sick stuff and just get on with life, but there are a few lessons we still need to learn and apparently one of them seems to be patience! Jon’s doctors are also learning patience with us as well as Jon seems to have his own ideas and protocols for treatment. If anyone is counting, today is day 322 following Jon’s transplant.

Tate is doing great and loves school. He is such a happy go lucky chap as is, but combine that with having his Granny at his school and it is a piece of heaven for him. We have had record breaking snow this year and as far as I'm concerned if it is going to be cold it might as well be white and beautiful. It beats the pants off of cold, gray and an inversion! Plus, the boys love the snow. They will get on their snow clothes and play for hours. A month or so ago, while Jon was in the hospital, Jay (Jon’s dad) took the boys up to the cabin on a snow cat. He tied Tate's sled to the back of the snow cat when they were coming out back to the car. He kept asking Tate if he was cold and he said no. When they got back to the car he told Jay that he was freezing, but that he didn't want to say so because it was SO MUCH FUN! That pretty much sums up Tate. He tries to get as much fun and excitement as possible out of life!

Cale continues to be such a funny little fellow. It is interesting the things he picks up on and how he processes them. Just this week Cathy could see a big hawk in a tree and tried to point it out to Cale. He said "My dad had a hawk. Before he was bald." His "Chemohawk" (the Mohawk Tate and Cale gave Jon before chemo). We all laughed about that. He is so particular about things sometimes and one day after I had spent 5 minutes (it seemed like eternity) trying to get him bundled up to his satisfaction--zipped up just so--in exasperation I said "Cale you're killing me!" It was 2 or 3 hours later when we were in the car and he said "Mom, you said kill me. Dat not nice." I had to reply that what I said wasn’t nice and I apologized. Nothing like your kids keeping you humble! Cale started preschool and they are serious about it. It is a great little school, but there isn't much play about it. They know all their sounds and numbers to 20 I think. Who would have ever thought that your kid would need remediation in preschool--when he is 3! I didn't think it was possible! He’s catching up and doing well. Phew!

Tess is such a lovey! She just turned one on Thursday. She is just the apple of our eyes. She is standing and pushing things around. It won’t be long till she is walking all over. I'm just waiting for the day I can do pig tails!

As for me, I'm doing really well. Kids are happy and well and Jon is doing good...so that pretty much equates to me being happy. I am getting nuttier and nuttier in terms of nutrition--much to Jon's chagrin. I just figure that after all his body has been through good nutrition can only help him. So he has all kinds of fruits and veggies blended up daily to which he and the kids are good sports! If ever he even thinks to complain I remind him that it is his fault that I’ve become this way since he up and got cancer! J

So all things considered, we are doing really well. We love being close to our families, but miss so much our friends and try any way we can to get them to come and visit. (That was an open invitation to any North Carolinians!) But we wanted to let you all know we are doing well and pass along our contact information. Every 6 weeks in Jon’s office they do a contest and the current contest is called “Who’s your doctor?” to which they have a bunch of random questions about Jon. One of them is “Where does Dr. Silcox live?
A. a house B. an apartment C. the garage D. His parents basement

If you guessed D you are correct. Nothing like going to seven years of graduate school so you can move into your parents basement, but in reality we couldn’t be happier about it. It is working out great. It is giving us a chance to get on our feet, figure out a business, and catch our breath before we start on another adventure and find a house. So, our address will change, but our phone number will stay the same. However, we will always get anything that comes to Jon’s parents address.

Hope this update finds all of you healthy and happy. The Tarheels just won and we are surprising the boys tomorrow and flying to California to go to Disneyland. So life is good….really good!

Sending lots of love,
Jon and Quinn

PS
Any email account associated with UNC will soon be inactive. Below is our updated contact information.

1213 Sweet Caroline Dr.
Riverton, UT 84065
Home phone 801-649-5407
jon.silcox@gmail.com
qsilcox@hotmail.com

Merry Christmas from the Silcox's (January 20, 2008)

2008-01-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

A friend recently asked me if this year seemed long or short. I didn't really know how to answer that question. In some ways, it seems like a never ending year…all the doctor's appointments, the emotional roller coasters, Jon's transplant and recovery, having a new little baby. Yes, it seems like quite a long year, but then it also seems like it was just yesterday that Jon was admitted to the hospital and we learned that he was so sick. As I think about where we were last year, we had just gotten the diagnosis of MDS and were waiting to see if one of Jon's sisters was a match and all of the anxiety associated with such serious matters, to where we are today, I am extremely humbled and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. Jon just rushed off this morning to work, is submitting his thesis this afternoon and is working on the final contract to purchase an orthodontic practice in Cottonwood Heights, Utah on January 1, 2008. I marvel to think how drastically our circumstances have changed in such a short period of time. So, I don't think there is an answer to that question, but it has been the most challenging, humbling, growing and also joyous year we have yet experienced together.
This has been a huge year for Tate. I am amazed all the time at how much he is growing and learning. Much of our conversations with Tate are about his "ideas" which range from anything from how to play the most complicated game has dreamed up, to how his lego contraptions work, or the fun we should be having that minute. He learned to ride his bike without training wheels, played t-ball and soccer, and has started school. The first day of school he got on the bus just as happy as can be and waved out the bus window to Cale, Tess and I. All I could see was a little hand waving like crazy while he rode off to school. I went back home and cried. The other day he told me "Mom, Amy (name has been changed to protect the aggressor ) just kissed me lots of times on the bus--even on the lips!" I wasn't prepared for that to start quite so soon. Thankfully they have an agreement that she can sit by the window if she keeps her lips to herself! I just don't understand how they grow up so fast!
Cale's knick-name is "Little Buddy" which seems to fit him perfectly. He loves to be your right hand man no matter what you are doing. Sometimes I truly don't know what to do with so much "help!" Cale's gross motor skills continue to amaze us, worry us and make us laugh. He jumps and clears way too many stairs, can ride his tricycle down our hill like he was trying out for a bobsled team and jumps off things with his inflatable horse that make me shutter. But he does have fun and we have avoided the emergency room this year which is a real plus…knock on wood! He has an extremely well developed sense of humor (I wonder who he got that from). He thinks it is hilarious to bless the food when he is saying his prayers before bed. He loved T-ball, tolerated soccer and most of all loves to kiss Tess and be best friends with Tate.
And then we had a baby! We felt like we needed a wonderful surprise (we had just a few unpleasant ones recently) so we decided not to find out the sex of the baby. I had convinced myself that I would not be disappointed if it was another boy because I just adore little boys and it would be great to add one more to the tribe. However, when she was born and Jon told me "It's a girl!!" I thought of course it is. We needed a little girl to make our family complete. Tess is our miracle baby. She came in the midst of craziness in our lives. In January Jon's blood counts were improving so they postponed his transplant. It was just long enough for us to get Tess here. A week after she was born his counts went back down and he had his transplant 4 weeks later. I couldn't imagine delivering and him not being there. She has been an absolute joy. She is the happiest, cuddliest, cushiest baby you can hold and squeeze. I don't understand how one little person can be so adored by so many. After 2 rascally boys, I have thoroughly enjoyed pink, bows, tights, ruffles, and dresses and the more the better!!
As for Jon and I, life has been a crazy ride this year. Sometimes we have felt like it was all we could do to keep everyone and everything together, but thanks to the love and support of so many, and many blessings from up above, we are more grateful for the simple and important things in life than we ever have been before. To have time with our little family and have everyone happy and healthy is a blessing we no longer take for granted. We still have quite a few changes up ahead. North Carolina is certainly home and it will take a long time before we can call anywhere else home. So it is with a heavy heart that we anticipate leaving, but are so grateful and excited for the new adventures that await us in Utah. I'm still trying to figure out a way I can keep the friends, beauty and weather of North Carolina while living in Utah. I haven't quite figured it out, but maybe someday I will. I used to think of the years going by as the opening and closing of a book. Once the year is gone it is closed and onto the next. My views have changed a bit, and I think this cancer chapter of our lives will always be opened even just a bit, and I'm grateful for the growth and perspective that will bring to us. I can't close this letter without acknowledging and thanking our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ for the abundant blessings and miracles in our lives. May the Lord bless and keep you and may you have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season.

With much love,
Jon, Quinn, Tate the Great, Captain Cale and Sweet Tess Caroline

Happy November 1st!

2007-11-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

Howdy!

I can't believe that it was a year ago today that Jon was admitted to the hospital and told that he had cancer. It has been one crazy year and I am just amazed at all that has transpired in one years time. Here are a few pictures of what we have been up to lately. Caramel apples were quite the hit. A sticky, messy hit, but a hit nonetheless!

The halloween cowboys. They love to dress up as cowboys whether it is Halloween or not. I was worried that since they have dressed up as cowboys all year that it wouldn't be as fun on Halloween. I shouldn't have worried. Their favorite things were their spurs that sounded just like the real thing when they walked. Cale loves his cowboy boots because he can put them on really fast all by himself. The only problem is that he almost never wears socks with them. They are the stinkiest shoes, but he loves them!! They LOVED trick or treating. By the end their pumpkin-sacks were overflowing and Tate said "Now we can go home and pick out a treat." I don't know how I got so lucky, but they think they should only get one! :) I wished I thought I should only have one!
So we were cowboys and indians this year. I looked for quite awhile online for an indian costume for me, but just didn't get it together in time so I made a quick run to JoAnn's Fabrics. I figured I could whip up something easy as pie. The skirt was a cinch, and I was planning on just making a poncho for the top: cut a perfect square and cut a hole in the top. Jon explained how I could easily make it much better and make a shirt. Needless to say, unsupervised and unattended (by Jon) I am a disaster with the sewing machine! Even when he told me how to fix my diasaster I didn't quite get it right. So, Jon had to do a major refix job after my fruitless hours spent on one very mediocre indian squaw top!! Fringe does wonders and added to the image of this interracial marriage!

Tate's jack-o-lantern is titled "I let my mustache do the talkin." I am amazed at how big he is getting. He loves school and has lots of friends. Cale can't wait for the minute he comes home and goes running for the bus stop, and then play resumes from wherever they left off the evening before.

Tess was certainly the cutest pumpkin in the patch. She continues to be such a happy bright spot in our lives. She has learned to crawl and I have forgotten just how quickly they can get into things. Life has changed a bit with this milestone. Just today she pulled-up for the first time.

Cale went right away and found his pumpkin. It was instantly his favorite and he carried it (and dropped it) all around. Tate had to look at every pumpkin before he found his perfect one. And yes, Cale is a new boy with his haircut. I think it makes him at least a year older. He thinks so too. When people ask him how old he is he says 4.

Cale is such a sweet big brother to Tess and kisses her all the time. I sometimes wonder how much they get about what is going on with Jon. Just today I heard Cale tease Tess and say "You're a parasite." I am impressed with his lingo. He may not have the slightest clue about what a parasite is, but it sounds like something good to call his sister!

I saved the best for last. Aren't these pictures worth a thousand words. All the miracles that came to pass so we could have just such a picture. Jon looks so good, and he is doing really well. Since he's been off his parasite medicine and has upped his thyroid medicine, he has been feeling so very much better. So I just wanted to wish you all a happy November 1st. This one was great and totally "normal," especially compared to last 1st of November. Kids went to school and preschool, Jon went to work, I cleaned house and got to have a few minutes all to myself, took the kids to get a flu shot and then stopped by the park on the way home. I'm so grateful for just a normal day. I don't think I've ever been more grateful for just plain old normal! Sending lots and lots of love--Quinn and posse

The Silcox Update (July 9, 2007)

2007-07-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

Hello family and friends,

We realize that we are long overdue in sending out an update, but we are thrilled to report that we are doing much better than anyone ever expected. Out of the recent events, the actual stay in the hospital was by far the most difficult part… twenty-one days surrounded by the same four walls and performing the same routine everyday became a little repetitive and monotonous. Now, 100 days post-transplant, life is by no means monotonous, as summer is now in full swing. We find ourselves chasing boys, riding bikes, practicing T-ball, discovering the joys of a baby girl, and avoiding the North Carolina heat at the swimming pool. Oh yah, and I also work! I work in the orthodontic department at UNC as a part-time faculty in the graduate and undergraduate clinics and assist in teaching courses. I am also able to work as a clinical associate in two private orthodontic practices and have been busy publishing my research. With all of this going on, I still have energy! Perhaps too much energy— Quinn and I are currently training for a half-marathon to take place in August, I mountain bike at least once a week, help coach two T-ball teams, and now I think I will take on the task of remodeling our kitchen! I am definitely enjoying my new blood (thanks again to my sister, Jadi!) and it has not been the typical recovery, but Quinn reminds me that most things I do are not typical! Tess continues to be the sweetest baby ever, complete with constant smiles. I think she knew she had to be on her best behavior to come to us at this time and she has been nothing but an angel.

For the 100 days following my transplant, I made my appearance in the bone marrow clinic 2 times a week to get my blood drawn, cell counts checked, and most importantly, to chat with my doctors and the nursing staff about whatever was good for a laugh that day. My doctors have been wonderful and we feel so grateful to have been here to receive such good care. I have been dubbed the “all-star of the transplant clinic” by my doctors because I have felt so well and my counts have been so strong following the transplant. I guess everyone has to be an all-star in something, and thankfully I am a pro at transplants! I will now see my doctors much less frequently and life will continue to move on.

Speaking of moving on…the criteria that Quinn and I set as an indicator of when we would be ready to move from North Carolina was when my health was stable and we could start a new chapter in our lives. We feel that time is quickly approaching. Quinn and I recently celebrated our ten-year wedding aniversary. It is great to look back at what we have accomplished and even greater to anticipate the wonderful things the future holds for us. We are anxiously pursuing job options that will bring us closer to our family and allow us to set down some serious roots! Again, we find ourselves in fortunate circumstances and blessed beyond our expectations.

We hope that this letter finds you and your family well and happy. For the past few months, I think people haven’t wanted to “bother” us, but please, we would love to hear from any of you.

Thank you again for your friendship, kindness and prayers!
Jon, Quinn, Tate, Cale & Tess

Day 92 (June 26, 2007)

2007-06-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

I'm just a bit emotional and teary as I write. We just went to our last appointment with Bob and got Jon's bone marrow biopsy. They drew his blood and it was the best it has ever been. Hemoglobin of 14.1 and everything is just coming up. Of 19 things it tells on his print out 15 were in normal range and all of the others were close. Whites, reds, and hematocrit are not normal, but really close to normal and the highest they have ever been on his own. This visit felt like every other one until it was time to leave. We found out that this was Jon's last visit with Bob and that we won't have another doctors appointment for 3 weeks till he sees Dr. Shea. That is the longest we have ever gone without a doctors appointment since November. It was really humbling to think about that. What really made me emotional was as we were leaving and checking out and making our appointment with Dr. Shea, there was a young tall handsome man in his early twenties with an over night bag and his mom carrying his pillow. He was waiting to check in--for campath was my guess. I identified so much with the look on his face--one of optimism and hope. He looked so brave, but I also imagined he felt like we did when Jon went in--that we were holding on for a crazy ride and just hoping we could hold on long enough and strong enough. It was such a vivid realization for me of where we were, how far we have come, and where we are now. For a brief moment, I had a very clear visualization of the past, the present and our hopes for the future. In November my day today seemed like it might never come. It was hard to imagine a day where the fears of cancer wouldn?t occupy all my mind's energy. It is still there, and to be honest, I think it will always be there, but it keeps moving further and further back in my mind. And what I didn't know in November was that we can still be so happy as our little family with cancer still in the picture. I've also come to realize that the experiences of the past year will be something I ponder upon for the rest of my life. As I remember certain feelings and think about things in a new way, every time I am amazed at how the Lord was with us and carried us and strengthened us. Jadi had mentioned that her being a match could have been a blessing that the Lord had prepared for Jon before he came to the earth. What a loving gift from our Heavenly Father. I am amazed at his goodness towards us.

There are still patches in my memory. I think I remember telling my mom about Jon, but I don't remember at all telling Micah, and yet there are other things that are so vivid. During the very hardest of times it seemed that heaven was the nearest. For so long our lives seemed to revolve around endless doctors appointments. Now we are going to t-ball games more frequently than we are doctors. Who would have guessed. Today has been a real day for reflection and gratitude and I hope it can be one of gratitude for all of us. We are doing so well and are so happy! We aren't out of the woods by any means, but then again I don't think there will be a moment or a day when we say that we have closed this cancer chapter of our lives. I'm just so grateful that where we are right now is the very best place we could be. Thank you so much for all the roles that you have played in our lives. We love all of you so very much and are so grateful for your faith and strength that you have added to ours.. Thank you for all your sacrifices for us! We love you!!

Quinn and Jon

I'm Out! (April 10, 2007)

2007-04-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

After 21 days in the slammer, I have escaped! And what a crazy 21 days they were. In all reality, my body tolerated the treatment much better than any of us expected. For the first 5 days I was in the hospital, I had a constant chemotherapy IV drip. Although I did have the pleasure of experiencing some of the side-effects of the drugs, each day came as a surprize when I really didn't feel too bad. I kept expecting the terrible side-effects I had been warned of by doctors and nurses, but fortunately, they never really came in full force. I would honestly say that the most difficult part of the hospital stay was the stay itself. For 20 days I wasn't able to even step outside my small hospital room, and some days my family members weren't allowed to see me due to a little cold virus going through our household. Our baby Tess wasn't able to visit at all. I really did keep pretty busy... mostly just to avoid insanity!

On the 26th of March, I was infused (transplanted) with my sister's cells subsequent to the week of chemotherapy. From that Monday until Friday, I basically had no immune system to speak of. But on Good Friday, we finally got some indication that the transplant had worked. Slowly my cell counts started to creep back up (with the help of some specialized growth factors). Although my counts are nearly normal now, I am still severely immunocompromised as my new cells are immature and lack the ability to mount a defense. However, on Easter, the doctors felt I was doing well enough I could leave the hospital nearly a week before originally planned and surprized us all by letting me walk out the next day. (I give a lot of credit to my private inflatable nurse, Doris) I will now visit the bone marrow transplant unit as an outpatient 3 times a week for blood tests, to check for infections and monitor graft versus host disease which now becomes a very big concern. This routine will carry on for around 100 days which is July 4th. This will be a type of independence day for me!

The first week of May I will graduate from my orthodontic residency. Although I will have my orthodontic certificate, my department has been kind enough to allow me to maintain student status which will allow them to continue to pay my small stipend and my health insurance. What a blessing that is!

Yesterday, Quinn and my mom assisted me in removing the remaining hair I had on my head. This totally bald look is a big improvement from the one I had in the hospital. We had selectively pulled out chunks of hair which made my head look geographic like the globe (alright, insert the large head jokes here!). It is good to be back with my rambuncious boys and our sweet baby Tess. The bottom line is that it is so good to be home.

My family and I can't thank you enough for your thoughts, prayers, and concern. We have obviously felt much greater power than our own. We have been strengthened physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thanks to those who came to the hospital, called on the phone, or entertained me with emails. It truly allowed the time to pass easier. We hope you will continue to remember our family as we know we have a long road ahead.

Thank you again,
JON

P.S.
Many of you know that prior to checking into the hospital, I made a therapeutic squirrel launcher... therapeutic in that it allowed me to have something to design, do, think about, and laugh about. However, you may be interested to know the squirrel launcher video on my site hosted by UNC was blocked of all traffic. It appears that it was using a little too much bandwidth... in the 9 days before it was shutdown it received 85,000 hits and used over a terabyte of bandwidth! Luckily, the server administrator thought it was funny and decided to host it on UNC's streaming media server. The following link should work:
http://mediaserv.unc.edu:7070/asxgen/silcox/Flying-Squirrels.wmv
For all of those that love the little tree rats... none of them were hurt and they keep coming back for more!

Transplant plans (March 17, 2007)

2007-03-17T21:01:00.000-07:00

Family and Friends,

As many of you know, life has been quite exciting for us lately. We welcomed our little girl, Tess Caroline into the world February 7th and she is one cute, sweet baby. We think it was quite miraculous that I was able to be at her birth and feeling well enough to enjoy her and our family for the last while. Right before her birth my blood counts were as high as they have been since my diagnosis which enabled us to mentally and physically to take a break from cancer. About a week after Tess was born my counts started to go down and we met with my oncologist shortly thereafter. My doctor decided that we had waited long enough and with my counts going down and being transfusion dependent again, it was time to move quickly and go forward with the transplant. So, that is what we are doing. I have already received one dose of chemotherapy and will be admitted to the hospital Monday where I will be treated with 5 consecutive days of intensive chemo. The objective of this is to completely wipe out my bone marrow, along with my immune system. Following this, I will receive my bone marrow stem cell transplant Monday, March 26th. I hope to be able to come home from the hospital sometime in the middle of April. I decided before chemo, my hair should go out in a blaze of glory… hence the “CheMohawk.” Quinn parted my hair and the boys had free reign with the clippers. They had a grand time! Quinn has loved traipsing around with me and my new look!

Thank you for all your prayers, love and support! I will have my computer at the hospital and seeing as me and my immune system have to earn the privilege of walking out of my room to the nurses’ station, emails and calls will be great communication and a means of access to the outside world.

Thank you again,
Jon

Beach not hospital (January 9, 2007)

2007-01-09T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hey All,

Welcome to the roller-coaster life of Jon! As some of you may know, the night before I was to begin chemotherapy in the hospital in preparation for the transplant, my doctors decided to temporarily postpone the whole procedure. Both Jadi and I were in the hospital that day. I had a small surgery to place a central line in my chest so the chemo and the tranplant could be delivered into a large vein near the heart, and Jadi spent all day with large needles in her arms and watching her blood cycle out of one arm, into a centrifuge and back into the other arm as her stem cells were collected. As you can imagine, with only about 14 hours before I was scheduled to begin chemo, we were not expecting to have the transplant called off. For the past few weeks my blood counts have improved. There is no logical reason for this improvement so the doctors would like to monitor my levels for a few weeks and ensure that they aren't going to continue to improve before they completely wipe out my ability to produce blood with chemotherapy. We all feel that a transplant is inevitible, but considering the risks involved, I think we are all grateful for the cautious judgement used by my doctors. Also, for those wondering, Jadi's stem cells will be frozen until the time for the transplant without any problem.

We had been mentally and emotionally preparing for the transplant for so long, and I think we truly felt up to the task, that when the news came that it was to be postponed, we really didn't know what to think. We felt like our plan had been disrupted and we felt emotionally and mentally drained. Once again, the anxiety of waiting is worse than the disease itself. Graciously, some of our friends allowed us to enjoy a little time at their beach house where we could just enjoy each other and take a little vacation from the worries of transplant and the stress of waiting for a decision to be made. That little trip was exactly what all of us needed. Fortunately, I have felt absolutely wonderful the past 3-4 weeks, which is also a change. Although I would like to get moving toward getting better, it is nice to just feel well and have time living somewhat of a normal life with my family.

Thanks again for riding the roller coaster with us! We'll keep you updated as we get more details.
JON

Christmas 2006

2006-12-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Family and Friends,
If this letter gets written it is because I was very efficient at my one 45 minute work session at the computer!! This year has been a very eventful one for us, much more than we planned!

Cale is now 2 ½ and is such a delight and joy and a bit of a pill at times too!! He is such a creative little boy and has all kinds of ideas…some good and some not so good. Some of his good ideas are playing forever with his dump truck, reading books, playing trains, and giving hugs. Some of his not so good ideas are riding his tricycle (with no pants on) as fast as he can down the hill, running into the curb and flying over the handlebars on the grass (all on purpose), or pretending our dinner plates are snowshoes, or taking the powdered sugar outside and having a powdered sugar war with his brother (I should probably just be grateful it was outside and not inside!). Cale certainly keeps us on our toes and makes us laugh way more than we probably should—we at least try to turn our heads so he doesn’t see that we are laughing!!

Tate is 4 ½ and is such a sweet boy. I could sum up his year by a quote he made last January when he was trying to find his stuffed animals… “Mom, where are my babies…I mean my big boys…my people.” So his year has gone. He is growing up so fast. He started preschool and is just in heaven. He delights in everything and it is amazing to see his mind grow and expand. I thought he might outgrow the “why” stage, but instead of asking just plain old “why” to everything, I now hear, “I wonder why such and such happens.” He is very curious, is Mr. Holiday cheer himself, and is the best big brother.
My big news is that we are expecting another baby in February. I got really nervous at our ultrasound because we decided we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby and I was very concerned that they would slip and tell us. We are on schedule for a surprise in the middle of February.

Jon started the year doing all of his normal stuff and being concerned about the typical things you would expect from someone who would be graduating soon. His birthday was in October and he kept telling me that 31 was a rotten age because he felt like he was more out of shape than he had ever been and he just plain wasn’t feeling like his normal self. On November 1st we found out why he was feeling so out of shape. Jon was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome which is a type of blood cancer. We have really had a whirl-wind experience so far. Right after his diagnosis we learned that the cure for his disease is a bone marrow transplant. All his sisters, AKA “team donor,” were tested and to our absolute joy we found out that Jon’s oldest sister Jadi is a perfect match. She will come out Christmas day and begin a procedure to collect her stem cells for Jon. Jon then starts chemotherapy January 9th and his transplant is the 16th. We anticipate a successful transplant and hope that Jon will be able to come home sometime around February 5-9th. Please keep Jon in your prayers as this process is a very difficult and long one. The baby is due February 17th and I’ve been early in the past, so life will definitely be an adventure.

So to sum it all up, this year has for sure had its trials, but we have experienced many more miracles than trials. I’ll just list a few…Jadi being a match, some of the best medical care, the UNC orthodontic department that has been so kind and good to Jon, wonderful friends, the best families anyone could dream of, 2 sweet boys and a baby on the way, Jon’s mom staying with us for the “long haul,” the faith and prayers of so many that have given us comfort and peace, and a greater strength and faith in the Savior Jesus Christ that can only come from life’s most difficult challenges. The list goes on and on. We have felt so blessed at this time.
We hope you all have a wonderful, healthy, and happy New Year! We plan on doing the same!

Lots of love—Jon, Quinn, Tate the Great, Captain Cale and the Mighty Surprise Silcox!!

P.S. If we don’t have your email address, please send it to us as we send out periodic updates…silcox@email.unc.edu or qsilcox@hotmail.com. Jon will have his computer with him while he’s in the hospital and would love to hear from you. Also, if you are interested in becoming a bone marrow donor, please visit www.marrow.org . It only requires a few cheek cells to be added to the registry!

Another update (December 8, 2006)

2006-12-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hello family and friends,

It seems like much has happened since our last email. The weekend of Thanksgiving we made a quick trip to Utah. Both our families knew that I was coming but Quinn and the boys were a complete surprise. I think they liked their surprise! Perhaps the best part of our trip was on our lay-over in Chicago, as we were about to miss our connecting flight, we found out that Jadi, my oldest sister, is a complete bone marrow match!!! Thrilled, happy, elated and grateful don't even begin to describe our feelings! With this good news we will now move quickly toward the transplant. Since the transplant will actually be a bone marrow stem cell transplant, Jadi will come out to North Carolina on Christmas day and the next day begin testing before they can harvest her stem cells. She will undergo about 3 days of treatment to move the stem cells into the peripheral blood, and then it will take 2 days to collect enough stem cells via a centrifuge process for the transplant. So, no extraction of actual bone marrow! I will begin chemotherapy treatment the first week of January as an out patient, and will be admitted to the hospital around the 8th of January for the remaining week of high-dose chemotherapy. After 2 days of rest from the chemotherapy, I will then receive the stem cell transplant. The doctors seem to think that I will be required to be in the hospital for about 30 days following the transplant. As you can imagine, I am not looking forward to being incarcerated for that month, but I have become rather submissive to whatever doctors tell me to do! I am also told that even after being released from the hospital, I will continue to recover at home and possibly not feel too well for some time. I guess that is to be expected when you have cancer, right?

It is possibly a demented thought to be looking forward to something like chemotherapy, but I think we are all anxious to get the whole process started. We will try to keep you posted as we progress through this experience.

Before this, we had never experienced having so many people pray and fast specifically for us. It has been amazing. We really feel that Jadi being a match is a true answer to prayer. Thank you all for your support, love and prayers. We have, in a very real way, felt the sustaining strength beyond our own and it has instilled within us faith, courage, vitality, patience, and energy during this time. We can’t thank you enough for your support.

May you all have a wonderful holiday season. We feel we have much to celebrate and much to reverence.

Thank you again,

Jon and the clan

P.S.

Many people have generously offered to help even by means of being tested as a bone morrow match. We have been blessed to find a match within my family, but thousands of others aren’t quite so fortunate. If you would like more information on how to join the National Marrow Donor Registry, the website is below. It costs $50 to register, but only involves a swab of the cheek from inside the mouth to get the required information (no blood draw needed). As you can imagine, this is something we feel quite passionate about now!

http://www.marrow.org/

Thanks to all!! (Novermber 12, 2006)

2006-11-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Hello family, friends and otherwise!
In the past week we have come to appreciate things in a whole new light. Tate is grateful that I am out of the hospital, but is also grateful that I have shaved my lamb-chop sideburns to a more reasonable length because it has made me "more handsomer." The rest of my family seems to be grateful for much more than just facial hair that is under control (however, I think Quinn agrees this is a blessing). Overall, there is a recognizably different spirit in our home. We have spent the week enjoying life and enjoying each other. Although life has seemed to have changed so quickly for us, we currently have the opportunity to slow down and just be our little family. With medications and platelet transfusions I have felt well enough go about a fairly normal routine. Of course, now I decide what is normal... if I don't feel like going into work, I assume that I have a good enough excuse not to go!

All three of my sisters (Team Donor) were able to quickly get their blood drawn and sent back to Chapel Hill. Their blood will now undergo 2 weeks of testing to see if one of them is match for the bone morrow transplant. If all goes well, I will be back in the hospital in December for a week of chemotherapy (goodbye lamb-chop sideburns!) prior to receiving the transplant and then a month in the hospital. We continue to pray that one of my sisters is a match so we can get this whole process rolling. We all are learning a little more patience.

I grew up the Big, Strong and Handsome brother, but I think I will have to add Grateful in there somewhere. Thank you all for your fasting, prayers, thoughts, emails, cards, and phone calls. We have felt a love and support that is way beyond what could ever be expected. We realize that we have a tough journey ahead of us, but we feel up to the fight as we know we will be upheld by your support. We are also grateful that this experience is drawing our family to a new closeness. We have been in North Carolina for more than 6 years, but have never felt closer to our families. I don't think we have ever been so united in prayer for one cause.

Yesterday, we took advantage of the good weather and took a few photos. Although our life perspective has changed just a little, we are happy and doing well.

Thank you again for all your support.
JON

News from the Silcox clan (Novermber 4, 2006)

2006-11-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

Hello family and friends,

As many of you know we have had quite the week! We thought we would let you all know what exactly we have found out and where our journey will take us in the next few months. We apologize that it has taken so long to get any information out, but the information didn’t get to us much faster! Wednesday Jon was admitted to the emergency room after a getting some pretty scary blood test results. He has gone through the works since Wednesday, but in all reality he hasn’t been feeling well for a few months. After waiting for what seemed like eternity, Friday we finally got all the test results of Jon’s bone marrow biopsy. Jon has been diagnosed with Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS). Before 1970 it was called pre-leukemia. Jon’s bone marrow is producing blood cells, but the cells that are not effective and any good. MDS is considered a type of blood cancer.

The only curative treatment is for Jon to undergo a bone marrow transplant and the critical issue right now is finding a donor. Prior to his transplant, Jon will undergo a week of intense chemotherapy, receive the transplant, and then be in the hospital for at least another month. Thankfully Jon has 3 wonderful sisters who will be tested as donors. It will take almost 3 weeks for them to be tested and their blood to be analyzed. They look for the HLA markers on white blood cells. There are 6 different markers that need to match. Each sister has a 25% chance of being a donor. This is the critical issue we are praying for right now. If one of his sisters is a match Jon will undergo his transplant in December. If they are not matches the doctors will try to find a compatible donor from the national donor registry. A non-family member donor decreases the chances of the transplant being successful a bit, and it also will take much longer. Time is a critical issue because right now Jon’s cells are just useless, but they are not aggressive leukemia cells. If left untreated MDS turns into leukemia which as you can imagine is a pretty significant side effect!! It would take a couple of months to find a compatible donor, and our chances of finding one are about 80%. Also, if any of you are keeping track baby Silcox #3 plans to come the middle of February so the sooner the better for us!

In the short term until a donor and a transplant are set up, Jon will be getting shots to increase his blood cell counts as well as transfusions. He was released from the hospital today which we were just thrilled about! Jon has responded really well to these treatments and his counts are up high enough that he can go back to a lot of his daily activities. He is such an on the go person that I fear staying in the house for a month could drive him crazy. It will be really nice for him to be on a much less busy schedule and treasure him being at home more, but he will have some routine and be able to do many of the things that he loves. With his compromised immune system, Jon just has to avoid sickness as much as possible.

As you can imagine this has been quite an emotional journey, but we are feeling up to the fight that is ahead of us! I know of no one that likes to win more than Jon and I can’t imagine anyone who will give it a better fight than he will. Doctors give him the statistic of a 50-60% chance of living till he’s 85, but knowing Jon it is going to be quite a battle, but I’m sure all will be well and we will grow as individuals and together more than I think we can imagine at this point. We have held each other and cried, but we have laughed more than we have cried. We are both doing really well and Jon looks better than he’s looked in quite awhile. We would like to thank all of you more than we can say for your love, prayers, fasting and concern in our behalf. We have felt strength beyond our own. Our faith is strong and we know that our Heavenly Father is helping us through this difficult chapter of our lives. To those that have watched our children we are so grateful. They are happy and doing well and that couldn’t have been the case without people watching them that loved them. We appreciate all the calls, emails, and offers to help. Right now Jon’s parents are with us and we are being taken care of and spoiled! I think we will have things in control till his transplant at which time family will be coming to help and we will let you know what needs we may have. We have so much gratitude in our hearts for all the support we have felt. It has meant so very much to us!! Emails are always wonderful and it just might take us awhile to return phone calls. Right now we are enjoying all of the simple things of life like being together as a family. Thank you! Thank you! More than we can say!
Love to all!!!!!!
Jon, Quinn, Tate the Great and Captain Cale

silcox@email.unc.edu
qsilcox@hotmail.com

P.S. We don’t have everyone’s email, so please feel free to pass this along to anyone we may have missed.

More info about MDS
http://www.marrow.org/PATIENT/Undrstnd_Disease_Treat/Lrn_about_Disease/MDS/index.html#MDSCauses