Animal Similes

The other day Tate brought home a special red back pack that had an extra writing assignment. On the bottom half of the page they were supposed to write ...My brother is a (insert animal) because ... and do a simile for each member of the family. On the top half of the page they are supposed to illustrate their family. I'm excited about this and can't wait to see what he comes up with. Each kid in his class has a turn taking the back pack home and so the book is a compilation of the all of the students in Tate's class. I am thumbing through and reading the other children's responses. For example there were quite a few that went like this, "My mom is like a butterfly because she is so pretty." They were all really sweet. Here is what Tate come's up with...



My sister is like a fly because she bugs me. My brother is like a skunk because he toots a lot. My Dad is like a lion because he roars. My mom is like a little squirrel because she likes to sleep a lot. I am like a gerbil because I like to play gerbils.



All in all very complimentary I would say. Brother tooting. Little sister bugging him. Jon roaring...I'm hoping his teacher is imagining games with Jon on the floor wrestling the boys, not coming home from work and yelling at everyone. Then there is the line about me and I have to ask myself why sleeping would be the first thing he would think of. Certainly my beauty would be overwhelming! Oh yes, I think every Friday night I tell the boys I will pay them fifty cents if they won't wake us up in the morning and will play with Tess when she gets up. It is the best fifty cents I spend the entire week! And when Tate wakes up early and I don't want to get up, I make him snuggle with me and talk to me. This sounds nice and cozy and it is, but it also postpones the inevitable of having to drag myself out of bed for at least 4 more minutes. I guess I can see where he is coming from, but I did have hopes of a beautiful butterfly simile!

Stiches and "There goes China!"

Tess has a fascination with shoes. She loves to put other people's shoes on and generally it isn't a problem. However, one day she was putting on Cale's shoes and trying to go up the hardwood stairs when she tripped and hit the under part of her chin directly on the stair. It was bleeding profusely and my immediate thought was she needed stiches. Jon was at work, but thankfully he wasn't treating patients and could come home and better access the situation. He confirmed she would need stiches. Where did I first think to take her? Dave. Dave went to dental school with Jon, but his residency was in a different specialty. I have kind of wondered about Jon and Dave that it is crazy that people actually take them seriously. I look at them and just see them as Jon and Dave. It is beyond me that people actually call them doctor. Thinking about it kind of makes me snicker. I move to exhibit A to make my point...



So yes, when I think about them I think...trouble? China? And then again, where was the first place I thought to take Tess when she split open her chin. I think I kind of forget that they are very competent and highly trained in their specialities. Although I'll never be able to call either one of them doctor, I can now see why their patients do take them seriously!

PS Jon waited one day to long to take out Tess' three stiches. She pulled them out on her own during her nap. One day they were there. The other they were gone! She is one tough cookie!

Variation to "I am a Child of God"

Every night we have a bedtime ritual. After books, brushing teeth etc, whoever is putting the boys to bed will sing with them "I am a Child of God." Tonight was no different except the new ending Cale created. He wasn't trying to be funny, it is just what came out. The ending will be more effective if you sing the words in your head if you know them...



I am a Child of God.

And he has sent me here.

Has given me an earthly home

with parents kind and dear.



Chorus

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.

Help me find the way.

Oh what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh!



Jon and I died laughing. Yes, Jingle Bells is his favorite Christmas song, but he could not have made a better rhyme if he tried!!

Grandparent pros and cons

I have been thinking about the joys of living close to grandparents these days. With them a greater part of our lives, my control has dimished just a bit, but our lives have certainly been enriched. As with anything there are pros and cons. For example take the kid's primary program at chruch--An event not to be missed by grandparents. Pros: They get to come. Cons: They get to come. The boys have been working all year learning songs for their program. So we are in church and she is passing out lifesavers to the kids. Even though I am the nutrition nazi I'm not so much annoyed at the treats as the timing. They can't get treats at the beginning of church right before the sacrament the most important part of the meeting. They crunch them and eat them and my mom being the good Grandma she is gives them a second one. Now the sacrament is being passed and there is definitely no eating treats now. I tell them they have to put their lifesaver in their pocket and they can eat it later. Tess has also found a lifesaver on the ground and even though it is a huge choking hazard, I figure I'll take my chances rather than risk showing everyone Tess' freak out dance. So now we have finished the sacrament and it is time for the kids to go up on the stand. They can't have their lifesavers now because they have to sing and I don't know when exactly their speaking parts are. True to his charge, Cale obeyed and didn't eat his lifesaver during the program. However, I would be rich if I had a dollar for ever time I saw his lifesaver. He held it up to the light to look through it. He put it on his eye to see if he could hold it in place with no hands while blinking. He rubbed it all over his face more times than I care to remember. Then when he went up to say his line he memorized, he looked at it intently as if it were giving him courage to say his line and then proudly put it in his shirt pocket and went up to the podium. I must say we were pleased lifesaver and all. At least this time Cale didn't stand on the stage and scowl the entire time. He even opened his mouth a few times! The question I have to ask myself is who's mother is my children's grandma anyway? It is certainly not the mom I remember.


So yes, there are times when I get mildly annoyed. But who else in the world would you let watch your kids when one of them was thowing up from 4:30-6:30 the morning of. That night, Jon and I were going out with friends and had purchased concert tickets months ago. We would have been so sad to cancel at the last minute. My mom insisted we still go. The boys were planning on having a sleepover at Granny's, but I told them with Tess being sick, I might pick them up in the middle of the night. Instead of whining or crying all of a sudden I hear chanting in unison: "Sleep over, Sleep over, Sleep over!!!" What am I to say to that? That night super late I went and picked up Tess. I checked on the boys and woke up Tate in the process. He had no clue it was me and said "I love you Granny." Yeah, I think Grandparents are worth all the life savers in the world...even at church!

One more story...

I do have more than one child, but Cale has had the funniest stories as of late. So the other day I'm talking and having a wonderful conversation with Jon's sister on the phone for half an hour. While I'm talking I'm looking for my cell phone which I assume Tess has hidden. The last time she had it she put it in Tate's back pack. And then what do I do...I call it to try to find it. Tate's teacher confiscated it and turned it off. I'm sure she really appreciated that and is wondering what we are thinking sending our first grader to school with a cell phone. But after four days of being lost--I found it in the furthest recesses of furniture with a small pile of toys. Thank you Tess! When I finished my conversation I realized that it had been way too long since I was interrupted and that the house was way too quiet even with Tess sleeping. Cale had gone over to the neighbors without asking or telling me where he was going. I went over and got him and our walk home was filled with concern about where he might have been. I carried him to his room and told him he needed to stay there and think a bit of how worried I might be if I couldn't find him and how he needs to remember to ask me when he wants to go next door. Shutting the door seems to add the final insult and now he is just wailing in his room. I have a remarkable ability to tune things out. Try to have a conversation with me while I'm reading a book and you'll understand. I am using some of these "skills" till I realize that he's not just crying he's screaming/sobbing something. I think he realizes that if he is just crying or whining about his plight he'll be in his room quite awhile. However, I realize that he's not whining at all but screaming at the very top of his lungs in between his sobs "I WUV YOU MOM!" even louder "I WUV YOU MOM!!" Now how on earth can I ignore that. I didn't realize a new tactic to get out of a punishment would be to tell me that they love me. But apparently, I'm a sucker and it seems to be pretty effective!

Captain Cale

So, Cale has really had me laughing these days. He is such a funny chap and a lot of the time he doesn't even know it. This morning I am attempting to clean the house and I'm thinking a few tunes will really help me to get the job done. I'm thinking maybe some "Dancing Queen" by ABBA or maybe a little Jack Johnson. Really the possibilities are endless. As I start getting into my dancing/cleaning mode Cale is telling me I have to take turns. "You pick a song, then I pick a song." Cale is our most musical kid--except when it comes to singing in church with the primary. He walks up the the front of the chapel with all the kids, gets right in the front, folds his arms and scowls the entire time. Never once opens his mouth or smiles. Anyway, he does have some musical talent. I'm hoping to harness that into a musical instrument (singing certainly doesn't seem to be his thing) and not just that he is amazing at an ipod. But, he has an uncanny way of remembering things with songs. He had only seen Star Wars once, but when Jon was whistling part of the sound track Cale said "That's when Luke leaves his home." He was right. So anyway, I ask him what song he wants. I'm thinking he'll want Star Wars, or Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog, or This little light of mine...something along those lines. He says "Fire Horsey." I could not think...fire horsey? Sure enough--Jungle Love by Steve Miller Band. Imagine the cover of the album and you will agree, Fire horsey is a good descriptor.



Three quick one liners...

Cale got in a little scuff with a neighbor boy and it ended by the neighbor telling Cale he didn't want to be friends anymore. He came in crying and heart broken, but after we talked about it a little he got up, grabbed two light sabers and started wielding them in all directions and said "That's ok Mom. When he dos that I will show him my powerful tricks!"

The other morning I found Cale distraught on the floor crying. I asked him what was wrong. He replied, "I can't find any short-sleeve pants!" (shorts)

This morning he was walking outside and I asked him "How come you are so handsome and sweet?" He turned around, but his hands on his hips, broke out a huge smile and said "Jesus made me to."

Dance Dance Revolution

Sometimes I feel like I haven't quite made it to the 21st century. My capabilities in anything technical always seem to be lagging behind and I have a very special talent of breaking things when all I did was press a button. If you think I'm joking all you have to do is ask Jon. I do think when printers or computers are being sarcastic it would just feel great to throw them outside and take a hammer to them. But this post is not at all about my computer difficulties--rather my lack of skills in the video game department. I have not been sold on the virtues of video games so we don't have anything at the house, and for fun before Tate went back on track I thought they would love a trip to Nickelcade (a cheap arcade in Utah). Before going to Nickelcade I had one introduction with Dance Dance Revolution. I saw it at my cousins house and watched a few people play it before I did for about two minutes and then we had to go. It was just enough to get the concept of the game.



So back to Nickelcade. I am taking the boys because I thought THEY would love it. As we are perusing the aisles seeing what video games they have my eye catches the dance dance revolution machine. It is a Wednesday morning and there is no one there but us. I must say that I did do my job of helping my kids, but it all came down to DDR! Now before I even stepped onto the machine, I thought I would be pretty good. After all, I do consider myself a pretty coordinated person and I danced a lot growing up. In front of me I could see all my fame and glory as I rocked the dance floor. I had a clue that this was not quite my generation thing when I noticed a sign attached to the game that said there would be repercussions for playing songs with offensive lyrics and language. I thought...isn't that nice for kids and things. Then I looked at the play list. I started to feel a little old and out of things. I didn't recognize a single song!! How was I to know if I was going to pick the most offensive song on the list! I chose the song "Psalm Pilot" only because there are psalms in the bible. I start on the novice level. Not a problem. DDR here I come! Next--the easy level. In my mind I thought "I'm going to master this thing in no time." It starts and all of a sudden there are arrows flying in every direction. Some at the same the same time and even three all at once. I am giving it 100% of my concentration and effort. I have arms flaying this direction--then that. My feet are trying so hard to get to where my eyes see that they should be. I get behind and then I frantically try to catch up somewhere. I'm jumping sideways then forward. I just about fall to the ground trying to step on all the right arrows. Finally it is over. I think...maybe I just need to do it again. I'm sure I'll catch on quickly. I sign myself up for more punishment and was just about as pitiful as the first time around. I am starting to sweat. Surely I can't be this bad. Where did all of my coordination go? By this time my children are calling and I can ignore them no longer. I'm at the ticket stand helping Tate and Cale choose what toys they want for 25 tickets. Of course they are choosing the toys that require 135 tickets. We finally made all our choices and they seemed thrilled with their chinese yo-yos and spider rings when a teeny-bopper comes in with a special set of shoes. I watch her and she goes straight to the DDR machine. I have a feeling as she is lacing up her shoes that my confidence in my coordination is going to take another hit. She puts in her 20 cents and chooses all of her songs/options etc. in 2 seconds and chooses the hardest level. I thought "there's no way." I didn't know arrows could move that fast--let alone feet. She was every direction all at the same time. How can anyone even process information that fast. She absolutely smoked it! It isn't like I'm my grandma. I am only 32--is that so old?? So, the bottom line is I loved it. My only tip is go on a Wednesday morning when you know no one will be there and see if you can rock the dance floor and make all your dreams come true!!